


Somewhere in the Night

by Pfain Ryder (Cat_Moon)



Series: Angelfire Universe [1]
Category: Quantum Leap
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 14:16:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19395859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cat_Moon/pseuds/Pfain%20Ryder
Summary: Al is alone one night at the Project, when he sees a familiar face.  Is Sam there for good, or does fate have something else in store for them?  Maybe even a long, strange, journey...





	Somewhere in the Night

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first story in my famous long and elaborate "Angelfire" universe. They were originally published in the Quantum Fire fanzines. Written in the 1990's. I will be posting them here as time allows. There's about 25 of them.

_Somewhere in the night_  
_Inside my dreams you burn so bright_  
_I'm with you there and everything's all right_  
_Somewhere in the night_  
_Before the darkness turns to light_  
_Let me love you..._  
_Somewhere in the night *_

I let myself into the Project complex, pausing to listen. It was the middle of the night and the only sound was the strangely reassuring hum of sophisticated equipment holding vigil over my friend's life. Even with a shot of whiskey under my belt, I wasn't able to sleep. Some nights were like that. An unknown urge had led me to seek the comfort of Project walls. Budget cuts what they were, a sleeping security guard and I were the sole occupants...or so I thought...

I took out a cigar, opening the door to the main control room. I'll always wonder what made me head there first instead of our office, because what I saw there made me drop my cigar and freeze in shock. Sam--Sam's body--was bent over Ziggy's console with his back to me.

"What the--"

The man spun around. Familiar eyes caught and held mine, staring into them and filling with happiness. "Al!"

"Sam?" I breathed, almost afraid to believe. Then he ended all doubt by pulling me into a bone-crushing hug. I gave as good as I got. "You're home..." Okay, so that was obvious, but I was pretty shook up.

We broke apart with mutual reluctance, but I kept an arm around his shoulder. We both needed the contact as a reminder of reality. Amazing how such a simple touch could bring so much joy. "I can't believe it, you weren't supposed to leap yet..."

"Yeah, well," Sam looked away suddenly. "Things took an...unexpected turn."

"Welcome home, buddy!" I tried to wipe surreptitiously at my eyes with a sleeve, okay so I admit I was a little choked up. It's been a long time. Sam grinned knowingly, and I noticed his own eyes were suspiciously glittering. "I've got to call Gooshie, and Beeks, and everybody!" I couldn't contain my excitement. "Wait till they see you!"

Sam swayed slightly, and my grip automatically tightened to support him. "Are you okay, Sam?"

"Bumpy ride, I guess."

Now that I was starting to function again, I noticed something odd about his behavior. I didn't like what I saw. "C'mon, you better lie down. Let's get you to the couch in the office."

I took firm charge, leading Sam into the office we shared. He stared around in a kind of awe which I understood perfectly. I was staring at _him_ in awe. He zeroed in on the mirror and gazed intently, then put out a hesitant hand to touch it.

"Yep, that's your very own gorgeous face staring back at you, kid. But there's time for that later. Now, I want you on that couch!"

He gave me a sly smile that I only recognized because it was one of my own. Definitely not his.

"Sam!" I admonished. "You've been hanging around _me_ too long." A thread of unease was winding itself around my mind. Yes, this was Sam, yet...there was something out of place about the situation. Until I could put my finger on the problem, I wouldn't be able to relax.

I pushed him down and sat next to him. Our bodies were touching slightly, on purpose. After so long denied the luxury, it became a necessity. We stared at each other.

"How're you feeling now?" I asked.

"Better."

He was too quiet. I decided to seek help, just in case something was seriously wrong. "Well, I'd better call the team and let them in on the good news."

Sam's hand on mine stopped me from rising. "Wait." He pulled me back down. "As soon as they get here, I'll be poked and prodded and debriefed...I want some time to just enjoy being me. With you."

"No problem." Sounded like a great idea to me. Maybe I was over- reacting. After all, considering how long he'd been gone, there was bound to be some strangeness.

We spent a pleasant ten minutes or so of silence, content with only the touch of our bodies to communicate. I waited, sensing the subtle change in atmosphere that meant it was time to talk.

"Did I ever thank you?"

"For what?" I asked, although I knew perfectly well. Sometimes things need to be said anyway.

"For all the times you were there for me. I know it wasn't easy, dealing with all the crap around here, and my leaps. You never let me down."

"Hey -- I'd do anything for you, you know that." This I spoke from experience.

"Yeah, I do." He looked down, abruptly silent.

Again I saw the odd expression I couldn't place. It put me on edge. After all those years, there wasn't anything I hadn't seen on his face. Until now. "Are you sure you're okay, Sam? You seem, I don't know...different."

"As all right as I could be, under the circumstances," he said honestly, confirming my earlier theory.

"Okay, so let me in on what's going on in that noggin' of yours," I pointed at his temple, our private code for confessions.

"The truth is, if I had leaped into someone else this time...I don't think I could've taken it. I'm so incredibly _tired_ , Al." His eyes pleaded for understanding.

I began rubbing his shoulder soothingly. It felt good to finally be able to provide tactile comfort again. We don't realize how important a simple gesture of affection can be until it's gone. We humans need it to feel accepted, loved. I was looking forward to lavishing lots of TLC on my best friend.

"Every night before I go to sleep in someone else's bed, I pray it's the last. Then when I wake up, I wonder if I'll ever be heard. All those lives I've visited, always being someone else. When they touch me...when I make love, it's not me they're making love to, Sam Beckett. Not me they love. But I pretend, play the game, always somebody else. Never me." The words had been forced out in hurt anger, but now his tone turned fearful. "I'm afraid I'll forget who I am."

I could tell he was disoriented, he was still talking about the leaps in present tense. I knew from discussions with Beeks, it was to be expected at the beginning. My job was to reassure him. "Forget who you are? Impossible, with me around. You're Sam Beckett, time-traveling hero."

I was rewarded with a smile. "It's good to be with someone who knows _me_."

"And you've come to the expert," I teased.

"Don't push you luck, Al," he warned with a mischievous glint.

"Hey, don't underestimate me," I insisted. Suddenly his face took on a lost expression I didn't understand. It tore at my heart, as everything he'd said had. And not just now, but every time I had to face him in another leap. It was something I had to live with every day of my life. This time, I could _do_ something. I took both of his hands in mine and held on tight. "I'm here. You're here. It's real, Sam."

"You're the only thing that ever was," Sam murmured. He pulled himself to a sitting position without letting go, and looked into my eyes.

The warning bells went off again, in the form of a bomb detonating in my stomach. In the blink of an eye, reality turned upside down.

"You can't imagine how lonely it is, worse than spending eternity without another living soul. I _need_...to touch somebody who's touching _me_. Someone who's making love to _me_..."

My mouth went dry. I couldn't possibly have heard what I thought Sam said, could I? I would've doubted my hearing or sanity, but I studied his eyes. They never lie. They were looking deep into mine with an intensity I didn't remember ever seeing. And there was no doubt in my mind as to what it meant. I felt him grab my arm as if to hold me there. He needn't have bothered, an earthquake couldn't have dislodged me. I was on the edge of a precipice, waiting to fall.

"Did you mean it when you said you'd do _anything_?"

"Sam--" Plea to stop, or continue? The jury was still out on that one. Part of me had always known how easily he could turn me to jello with merely a certain look, but I was finding out about some implications that had escaped me until now.

"Please, Al..."

Let's just say, no way could I resist a plea like that from Sam. I tried to remember if he'd ever begged before. Most of the time he accomplished his desired goal with _that_ look, the one I would willingly sell my soul for. Now I was being hit with both barrels. "Oh boy," I breathed, borrowing his phrase.

Lashes lowered as he struggled to calm himself. "I'm sorry..."

Damn Sam Beckett _and_ those eyes of his. "Hey--" I cleared my throat, trying to find a voice. He looked up at me again, and I was instantly lost in greenish-hazel depths. "C'mere."

A small, trembling smile lit his face. My eyes shut and our lips met in a kiss that was so sweet as well as fierce, that it shook me to my roots. We'd been denied touch for so long that a sense of wonder filled me as I held him, felt his warmth envelop me, the beat of his heart. It was as if I'd never really touched anyone before. He mirrored my reactions; I knew it was the same for him.

"Oh God, Al..."

"Shh, Sammy..." I took his face between my hands as if I'd always longed to, putting all my emotions for him into our kisses. The flood that had been released was drowning me. All the fear of the past years swamped me, combined with the pain and frustration as I'd watched him hurt. Both of us had been alone in time, with too much pain--on both sides. It was way past time to feel a little of the real thing. Hell, I'd done harder things for Sam. As a matter of fact, this was one of the easiest. Sam always followed his instincts, even regardless of what Ziggy told us, and I trusted in them as well.

He pulled me closer in frantic need, and I went down for the third time. Hands roamed my bare back as if unable to get enough. While I'd been daydreaming, he'd disposed of my shirt. Sam was upstaging _me_. A sensitive, emotional man who puts his whole being into everything he does, right now that was me. I didn't stand a chance.

Trying to regain a little bit of my dignity and reputation, I reached for his shirt. It was gone already, too. Exasperated, I grabbed for the zipper of his pants. The engulfing flames rose up to claim us both, and I felt the heat pouring off his body. This was Sam, my Sam. No woman had ever been inside me the way he was, and I couldn't deny him any part of myself. Bonded first by belief in our work, then by brain waves and a crazy computer; now, bodies...

We finished undressing each other. Then, with no place to hide, there was a moment of shyness. The air, cooling flesh in the space between our bodies, sent a shiver through his sweat-sheened frame. My finger traced the path of a droplet down his chest, feeling his trembling in my own body.

"You're beautiful," I whispered, tearing my eyes away to look at his face. There was a trail of wetness there, too. I ached to kiss those tears away, so I did. I delighted at the novelty of feeling his skin under my lips, and hands, and body. Nothing existed outside of our reality.

I buried my face in his neck, inhaling deeply. Funny, I'd forgotten the scent of him, another sense that had been lost to us. Suddenly it was all-important, and I felt like crying as that memory came back.

His hands molded my body into his almost desperately, and, recalling what he'd said about stranger's touches, I turned my whole attention to letting Sam know he was alive. It had a boomerang effect.

We continued to roll around on the wonderfully crowded space of the couch, overdosing on the physical sensations. The way he moved...the man's a natural. Once we only had words to communicate, we were making up for it. Denied, we yearned for it all the more. The dam had burst, and everything was swept away in a tidal wave of passion. Spontaneous combustion was a definite danger.

Without being consciously aware of it, I ended up with Sam beneath me, bucking up against me. Suddenly he wrapped his legs around my waist. Again I found myself in tune with his thoughts. It threw me, and I pulled away enough to see his face. He held my gaze, eyes steady and very, very serious.

"Make love to _me_ , Al," he whispered, sending shivers through me.

I hesitated, torn with conflicting emotions. He short-circuited my meager protest before I had a chance to make it. Not that it mattered, he wasn't taking no for an answer. A silky tongue wound its way around mine possessively, while his hand drove me to distraction by fondling my balls. And I didn't want him to have to say please again, wouldn't have been able to handle that.

"Anything..." I repeated my vow. Everything became crystal clear. This was my Sam. No matter what curves the world threw at him, I vowed to be his sanctuary. The one place he could always turn, without fear or misgiving.

I sent a quick prayer Upstairs, to make this one easy on us both. I wanted it to be perfect, he deserved no less. I tried not to jump when he pressed a small tube of lotion in my hands, shocked at his foresight. When I was sure we were both ready...well, as ready as we could be, I began to enter him slowly, striving for gentleness. Before I realized what was happening, those muscular legs tightened, and he pulled me into him, moaning in pleasure.

Fearful yet compelled, I had to see his expression. So I dared look, and couldn't wrench my eyes away. It was something I'd never seen on anyone's face before, a look I would die for willingly. And it was all mine. It blew away what little I had left of my mind.

"Jesus, Sam..." I moaned. At that point I lost it completely, and gave myself up to worshipping him as he deserved to be worshipped.

Somewhere during the storm I realized that even though I was the one on top, it was only an honorary position. Sam was taking me, just as surely as if it were his cock inside me instead of the other way around. And I knew. He owned me...but hadn't he always? For all eternity: past, present, future. Sam Beckett is my reality.

The tempo built, and we wrung cries of pleasure from each other. Too soon I felt the pressure bordering on the edge. I tried in vain to ease off and prolong our journey, but Sam arched up into me, screaming my name. I followed instantly.

I came back to that space in time with the echo of my name ringing in the abrupt stillness. _Now that's what I call leaping..._ I moved off to lay beside Sam, sensitive nerve-endings still sending tendrils of pleasure wherever our bodies were in contact.

"You okay?" I smoothed back a lock of sweat-soaked hair from his forehead tenderly. Seemed this night had a wealth of things to teach me.

The glow in his eyes was all the answer I needed. "Thanks, Al." He sighed, exhaustion catching up with him.

"No." I shook my head, firmly. "Thank _you_." What he needed was rest. "Now tell me who you are, then get some sleep."

"I'm your Sam," he managed to whisper, then his eyes slid closed.

I stared at my sleeping beauty, wondering how he'd picked up on that phrase of mine, my habit of referring to him as 'my' Sam. Eventually, I just put it down to another mystery of life. I was used to them.

Besides, he really _was_ my Sam. Giving in to a sudden urge, I kissed his forehead gently. "I love you," I murmured.

I couldn't sleep, didn't particularly want to, so I contented myself with watching him sleep. The innocent face was such a contrast to the one which could make my groin tighten just thinking of it. I'd been called an angel during the leaps...mine was sleeping in my arms.

I used to consider myself an expert on Sam Beckett, and it was humbling to realize I had a lot to learn. I wanted that knowledge more than anything I'd ever wanted in my entire life. I'd been confused by the way he was acting when I first saw him, never guessing the real reason why...

In a state in between sleeping and waking, I drifted pleasantly. It felt good to lay with Sam, holding him safe at last. It could get to be a real habit. Dreamlike images of all the expressions I'd seen on his face since he leaped home danced across my mind: his smile, the honesty when he'd asked me to make love to him, when he thanked me afterwards, when I first saw him standing beside Ziggy... I startled myself into alertness with that last one, suddenly wondering what he'd been doing. It shouldn't have bothered me, the first thing a scientist did when he came back from his experiment was consult his computer -- nothing strange there. Yet the nagging feeling stayed with me. I had to use the head anyway, so I decided to satisfy my curiosity and check it out...

I must have been standing with the printout Sam had made for me in my hands for a good five minutes, trying not to let its meaning sink in. But even with the words blurring in my vision, its stark reality couldn't be denied:

LOCATE DR. SAM BECKETT

Project Quantum Leap

DATE?

April 6, 1997. The present.

STATE THEORY OF REASON FOR LEAP

Insufficient data at this time, dear

STATE THEORY OF REASON FOR "LEAP"

...vacation

EXPLAIN

...respite...time out...holiday...second chance...et. Al...

WISE ASS

Does not compute

PREDICT ODDS OF LEAP HOME BEING PERMANENT

Odds 97.8 percent you will leap out again within the first five hours

ODDS OF LEAP BEING PERMANENT

2%

It was some giant sick joke, it had to be. No way was this happening. I refused to let it! Not after... I ran for the office.

"SAM!" I burst through the door, yelling Sam's name, praying I wasn't too late.

He was standing. When he saw me, he jumped and backed away. My hopes fell with a sickening thud, as my world came crashing down around me. The eyes were a strangers, wild with panic.

He looked around frantically. "Who the hell are you? And who's Sam?!"

"Oh, Sam..."

_Second chances I won't get_

_Would dare to hope,_

_but yet_ _everywhere I turn I see your silhouette_

_your love I never will forget_

_Somewhere in the night...*_

*Somewhere in the Night, by V. Bunch/S. Bakula

8/9/91


End file.
